Is there anything worse than a family member trying to help you parent? When they mean well but they’re actually being the opposite of helpful? A mom on TikTok has coined this term as “away game parenting,” and ah, it all makes so much sense.

The game-changing video comes via a content creator and mother named Emily Haswell. She posted the now-viral video before the holidays as parents were about to head into an abundance of family engagements and events (and thus a ton of unsolicited parenting advice from relatives), but really, this idea hits home all year round.

“The thing that is so stressful about away game parenting is that you and your toddler are typically having an active power struggle that is months long, that is really embarrassing to have play out in front of other adults,” she says in the clip. “They’re not going to understand the historical context there.”

Haswell uses the example that her two-and-a-half-year-old refuses to take a sippy cup and still drinks from a bottle, and having family members who know nothing about this power struggle will unhelpfully share their insights like, “sippy cups are for big girls and you’re a big girl!” or “let her have a bottle, it’s a special occasion.” Not helpful, but thanks!

Haswell calls this phenomenon “away game parenting” because it’s similar to an away game, where adults are watching as you try to parent on turf that’s not your own. It’s also like having too many players on the field to the point where there’s not enough people who know the ins-and-outs of what’s going on, resulting in too many opinions and nothing getting accomplished.

This is all so relatable. I’ve lost count of how many times my mom has told me, “oh I never did that with you and you were fine” in relation to putting my baby to sleep on her back, or how my uncle has told said under his breath to just give into my son’s request for dessert before dinner (sometimes we do do this, but that’s not my point). Can’t we all just mind our own parenting business, please?

The bad news is Haswell doesn’t share advice that’s worked for her on how to solve this problem, like what to say to relatives who offer up such unhelpful advice. I personally like to ignore the comment or divert attention elsewhere and that’s kind of worked for me, but hey, you do you!

How would you handle an “away game parenting” situation?

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