Ask any parent about bedtime, and they’ll likely describe a chaotic and emotional whirlwind of wrestling tiny humans into character pajamas or bribery just to get those pearly whites brushed. 

Some might even confess to looking forward to bedtime, a much-needed break from the long parenting days. And let’s be honest, who hasn’t given in to revenge bedtime procrastination, staying up way too late to savor a moment of alone time? Just you, Netflix, and sweet silence…until someone needs another sip of water.

Once your kids get tucked into their cozy beds, it’s easy to forget that the evening’s frantic pace becomes an opportunity for quiet connection. Bedtime is perfect for unwinding and processing after a busy day—so why not do it together sometimes?  

Start a bedtime brain-dump habit with your kids. Get comfortable, keep your voice low, and avoid distractions—that means no devices allowed. Having a chance to connect with your children on a deeper level means you might learn something new about them or yourself. 

I have a “snuggle-chat” routine with my son, which we started when he was little. It doesn’t happen every night because sometimes this mama needs a break. But when it’s my turn for the bedtime routine, I try to have some solid conversations if he’s not distracted by something else. 

It’s super simple. I start by saying, “Let’s talk about our day.” Then, we take turns sharing whatever we feel like. Sometimes, we sing songs, play word games in his bed, or make silly stories. It’s not about grilling for details or digging up the latest gossip at school, but instead, creating a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing whatever’s on their mind whenever they’re ready.

Ask open-ended questions to encourage your kids to think more deeply about their day and share their experiences with you, good and bad. This is a great chance to learn more about their thoughts and feelings. 

This kind of thing doesn’t come naturally to everyone. We’re parents, not therapists, right? If you’re not sure where to start, we’ve got some ideas:

• “What was the best part of your day?”

• “What happened today that made you happy?”

• “Is there anything you’re excited about?”

• “What’s one thing you’re looking forward to tomorrow?”

• “Did you struggle with anything today?”

• “What would you like to talk about tonight?”

If conversations don’t work, make a storytelling chain. One person starts the story with a sentence or two, and the other person adds to it. Continue taking turns, building the story together. Word associations can be fun too. Say a word and ask your child to say the first word that comes to their mind. Keep going back and forth, seeing where it leads. Thanks to our ADHD, my son and I are really good at this! 

Make this heart-to-heart time a part of your bedtime routine. And remember, it doesn’t have to happen every single night. Getting them into bed is enough work, and that alone time for you is super important. Eventually, your kids might even start looking forward to these bonding moments with you, which could help make future bedtimes a little bit easier—hey, it’s worth a shot, right?

Do you have bedtime conversations with your kids?

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