Attachment parenting, gentle parenting, authoritative parenting—it seems there’s a name or a style for every preference a parent has on how to raise kids. Though wouldn't an accompanying instruction manual be nice? Still, there’s one method in particular that comes up a lot here at Starglow, as well as on social media and parenting sites, and that’s purposeful parenting.

Endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), the idea of purposeful parenting is about setting-long term goals, envisioning what qualities you want your kids to possess as adults, and essentially working backward from there. Maybe it’s work ethic? Empathy? Kindness? Regardless, it’s about finding a purpose behind each of your kid’s actions and responding appropriately depending on the situation (and on the kid).

According to the American Society of the Positive Care of Children (American SPCC), purposeful parenting is based upon the six Ps, or six pillars (and no, ‘perfection’ isn’t one of them):

1. Purposeful, setting long-term parenting goals and figuring out the “why” behind your child’s behavior to help them grow their problem-solving skills and confidence

2. Protective, both supplying them with basic necessities as well as building trust by talking out feelings

3. Personal, showing unconditional love for who they are as a person

4. Progressive, changing your approach to parenting as they grow and mature

5. Positive, seeing each meltdown or setback as a learning opportunity 

6. Playful, spending one-on-one time with them to do sports, games, or express creativity

Some examples of purposeful parenting include saying “no” only once and without explanation, spending a few minutes of undivided attention with each child every day, and giving your kids responsibilities, such as household chores. 

Now you may be wondering, what’s in it for me and my kid? Purposeful parenting takes effort (well, parenting in general does, but you get where I’m going with this); what are the benefits?

Glad you asked. Research and studies show that there are tremendous plus sides to this parenting method, both short-term and long-term. Here’s five worth mentioning:

• Purposeful parenting reduces toxic stress, which can hinder kids from growing into happy, healthy adults

• Purposeful parenting positions the parents as leaders, so kids will be better at following rules and will know their parents are there to guide them through challenges

• Purposeful parenting opens the lines of communication, and lets kids know you’re always there to talk things out and support them

• Purposeful parenting makes kids accountable for their actions, since they reflect on their behavior and learn how to handle the situation better next time

• Purposeful parenting results in children that are more confident and less likely to suffer from depression

Quick disclaimer: not every type of parenting will work for every type of parent—do your research before committing to a “style,” and of course, raise your kids however works best for you and your family.

What are your thoughts on Purposeful Parenting? Do you think this would work for your family?

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