No matter your familial situation or relationship status, there’s always room for improvement when it comes to taking care of our kids. None of us are perfect parents, but each of us can do everything we can to be our personal best mom or dad. And that’s certainly true when it comes to co-parenting too.

It’s not easy parenting period, but add in doing so with an ex and it can be extra tricky. As a child of divorced parents that grew up with step parents, step siblings, and half siblings, I know how difficult it can be to be stuck between two parents who are not on the same page at all times. And blended families…well, that’s an article for another day.

Regardless if you’re new to the co-parenting arrangement or are a seasoned pro, make 2025 the year you improve upon your co-parenting relationship, if not for yourself, for the kids. Add it to your list of new year’s resolutions, perhaps? Here are five tips to make things better for everyone involved in 2025 and beyond:

• Prioritize communication. Whether or not you two are civil at the moment, communication should be clear, purposeful, and consistent, so you can make important decisions together regarding your children. Some experts suggest speaking with your ex as you would in business transactions, meaning keep your requests and statements to-the-point and void of emotion. Also, only keep conversations to the topic at hand, which is the kids, to avoid unnecessary arguments. And don’t forget to communicate with the kids too! Check in with them as you see fit, and enlist the help of a mental health expert who specializes in children of divorce if you think they would benefit.

• Keep the kids out of your drama. There’s two parts to this; 1) make a conscious effort not to argue in front of, gossip about, or badmouth the other parent in front of the children; and 2) don’t put them in the middle of your fights or have them be the messenger. They’re kids and don’t need to worry about adult problems, especially those that involve mom and dad. Vent to a trustworthy friend or fellow divorcee if you need an outlet.

• Put on a united front. Even if you two absolutely despise each other, it’s key for you and your co-parent to at least pretend to agree on the important things. Putting on a united front will make the kids feel more stable. It’s okay to set your own house rules, but try to abide by the same general boundaries, such as those around the kids’ screen time habits, discipline, and schedules, including when to do homework, eat dinner, and go to bed.  

• Choose your battles. Just like you wouldn’t fight your toddler when they choose to wear the blue pants instead of the red ones that match better, don’t sweat the small stuff with your ex. Stick to your guns on important issues like the child’s education, safety, and medical needs, but try not to nitpick unimportant issues such as an 8 p.m. vs. 9 p.m. bedtime. This will ensure there’s less resentment and more respect overall in your family unit.

• Go with the flow. If your co-parent is an hour late for his scheduled drop-off time or requests an extra day for a special event during your week with the kids, try to be flexible and understand that it just might be what's best for the kids. (As the child of divorced parents, it helped me to know my parents both cared so much about me and my sister and that’s why they fought for more time with us, not because they wanted to be difficult or get their way!). Hopefully you two have a custody agreement in writing, but understand that things might change once in a while. If you graciously agree to their spontaneous, reasonable request, the hope is they'll return the favor. Everybody wins!

Any other co-parenting tips that have helped?

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