If you ask your kid, “how was school?” you know by now not to expect more than a one-word answer. Ask your kid “how do you like school?” and maybe just maybe you’ll get a bit more information…though you may be surprised by what they have to say.

A new report released by the Brookings Center for Universal Education based in Washington, D.C. found that parents tend to overestimate just how much their children love school, as well as how much they’re learning there. Interestingly, this trend increases with age; the higher the grade, the less likely the student is to report positive experiences at their place of learning.

How did they come to these conclusions, you ask? Over the course of three years, researchers surveyed 65,000 students across the country in grades 3-12 about their experiences at school, in addition to about 1,900 parents. The main takeaway, according to the report, is “parents consistently overestimate the quality of learning experiences that students report having in school.” 85 percent of parents of third graders thought that their kids reported “I love school,” but only 74 percent of those kids actually did. The jadedness increases with adolescence and thus these percentages decrease with grade level, with 61 percent parents vs. 29 percent kids saying they loved school by senior year.

The reason behind this high “disengagement” rate, as the researchers call it, is a combination of things, including decreased school attendance since the pandemic; parents feeling uninformed overall about their child's academic progress; and students stating the work is too hard or that they don't have the supports in place to succeed, to name a few.

So, what does that mean for parents? Actually, the researchers think the responsibility falls more on the schools and administrators, not the parents, to bridge this gap, keep kids more engaged at school, and ensure they enjoy what they’re learning. 

Still, us moms and dads should continue (or start) asking our elementary, middle, or high schoolers questions about their school experience beyond how their day was to get a general feel for how they perceive it. We also shouldn’t be shy about getting in touch with their teacher(s) with specific questions or concerns. No shame in our parenting game.

Of course, this research is more nuanced than outlined here; you can read the full report, including the experts’ recommendations for improvements, RIGHT HERE.

What about this research surprises you the most?

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