There are many things we can say about gentle parenting…one of them being that it most definitely boggles the minds of baby boomers everywhere.

Gentle parenting, which, like purposeful parenting, we value here at Starglow, focuses on respect and empathy for children’s feelings, emphasizing why the child may be acting a certain way as opposed to the action itself. It’s certainly not for everyone, and that’s okay! Case in point? Millennial mom and writer @thedailytay has gone viral with an Instagram Reel in which she attempts to explain gentle parenting to her own 60-something-year-old mother, and grandma is…confused, to say the least.

In the hilarious clip which has amassed more than 23 million views (!!!) as of press time, mom-of-two Taylor Wolfe tells her boomer mama, Sandy Wolfe, to use alternative words for common phrases we tend to say to kids, including “be careful,” “stop hitting your sister,” “I’m so proud of you,” “hurry up, we gotta go!,” “good job,” and “watch out!” And the clip is so funny, mostly because it’s relatable and so spot-on.

Rightfully so, after Taylor tells Sandy the alternative choice of words to use with her two young girls, grandma looks increasingly confused. In Sandy’s defense, it’s not exactly natural to talk to little ones by saying things like, “gentle hands!” or “good choice!” or “do you feel safe?” It takes conscious thought and practice on the caregiver’s part.

And the phenomenon that helps explain this video is what experts refer to as “gramnesia,” that grandparents, our parents, have forgotten how to raise young kids and, as a result, make unhelpful comments to their children about parenting. 

Combining the words “grandparent” and “amnesia,” this genius compound noun and the concept itself has been around for years, according to Huffington Post. However, it resurfaced over the summer when therapist Allie McQuad, whose Instagram handle is @millennialmomtherapist, shared a Reel about just how true this phenomenon is, and it’s making its rounds again now on social media in part because of Taylor’s viral clip.

To be honest, I can diagnose my parents with “gramnesia” right now. When I underwent genetic testing while pregnant with my now 5-month-old, my mom would make comments that all she tested for back in the ‘80s and ‘90s was Down Syndrome. Right, but science has progressed dramatically in 35 years, mom. She also rolled her eyes at the AAP’s safe sleep guidelines that babies under one year old should sleep on flat surfaces, on their backs, and without anything in the crib, since we Millennial babies were basically swimming in crib bumpers and stuffed animals and, as she’s said, “you survived.” And don’t get me started on that time my son slept at my dad’s house and he and my step-mom let him stay up until 10 p.m. because he “didn’t want to go to sleep.” Bedtime is not optional, people!

Though I’ve never told either of my parents (or in-laws) to tell my ultra-sensitive child to use his “gentle hands,” I’ve definitely suggested that they be sensitive to him during a tantrum. I’ve learned from his therapist and explained to his grandparents that acting out means he’s upset about or triggered by something, not that he’s misbehaving on purpose. It’s hard enough that Millennial moms and dads feel the need to follow so many emerging parent trends —we don’t need to take crap from our parents too that we’re not doing it right, do we?

Still, Taylor Wolfe’s video is hysterical, and it’s not surprising that it’s struck a chord with so many young parents. More content like this, please!

Do your parents also have gramnesia? Do they understand your modern-day parenting philosophies?

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