Your kid bursts through the door after school, and as if their last breath depends on it, they declare their need for the latest video game: “Everyone else has one!”

It’s not their fault. We live in a world of instant gratification. Crack your phone screen? No problem, just head to the store and get a shiny brand new one. Broken spatula? Order another before dinner’s even over. It’ll be on your doorstep within 24 hours. Is anyone else still amazed by this, or is it just me?  

Patience just isn’t as trendy as it used to be—it was a virtue, remember? And although instant gratification rules our lives today, there’s still huge value in teaching our kids to wait for the things they want.   

So, what’s the big deal with waiting? 

The desire to shield our kids from those unpleasant feelings is natural. And giving in can be super tempting. Some days, I’ll do almost anything to avoid another meltdown. But learning to wait—even when it’s tough—can actually have lasting benefits for your child’s development. 

Studies show instant gratification is linked to: 

• Self-control

• Making decisions

• Setting goals

• Financial literacy

• Social and emotional skills

• And even better grades in school!

The ability to successfully delay gratification is difficult, especially for kids who get pretty much whatever they want when they want. And hey, there’s no shame if this sounds like your kiddo—but the good news is, there’s still time to reverse it! 

The bad news? It might not be pretty at first. Delaying gratification for something later means feeling uncomfortable now, and no one enjoys that.

How can we teach our kids to wait? 

Start teaching the concept of waiting early, even with toddlers. Visual aids are super helpful for little ones. Make the idea of waiting less abstract by using a road map or maze with a path leading to a picture of the desired item.

For kids who don’t understand time yet, use a timer as a visual aid. Saying “Ten more minutes” means absolutely nothing to a kiddo who can’t read a clock, yet we catch ourselves doing it all the time, don’t we? Timers work wonders at our house. We found this super simple one that makes waiting a little easier for everyone. Plus, it helps so our “ten-minute” warning doesn’t accidentally turn into a half-hour. Oops!  

Provide your child with choices so they feel more in control. For example, they could choose between waiting 5 minutes for a small snack or 15 minutes for a larger one. They’re still working on waiting, but the reward is their decision.

Remember to celebrate their success, even when it's small. Positive reinforcement is key for any behavior change. When your child is patient, acknowledge their effort and let them know you’re proud of them. 

Start small and use low stakes, like waiting for a treat or having a turn on the slide. Remember the viral #FruitSnackChallenge, where parents everywhere challenged their kids to resist a tempting treat while we stepped out of the room? After a few glances out the window, my son managed to wait. I was shocked!

For older kids, think on a larger scale. Encourage them to save up for that new video game or concert tickets to see their favorite artist perform. Involve them in the process—they can research prices, earn part or all of the money, or create a calendar so you can count down together. 

Bryana Kappadakunnel, LMFT, founder of Conscious Mommy, said it best in an Instagram post: "Help your child have some skin in the game...Have them intimately involved in the process from start to finish."

Remember, patience is a learned skill; every child develops at their own pace. It might be much more challenging with neurodivergent kids who struggle with impulse control—but it’s not impossible. And that final reward is so much sweeter when kids work hard and wait. 

How are you working on delayed gratification in your house?

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