So much of parenting is about sacrifice. Whether we planned to have children or they came without warning, accepting the parenting role often means giving up our big dreams of traveling the world, starting a business, or having that career we always dreamt of. We tend to put our kids first. And yes, it should be that way. We’re all they have. But that doesn’t mean giving up who we are. 

One sad but true reality of parenting is that our kids won’t always depend on us as much as they do right now. Don’t worry; I won’t say, “The days are long, but the years are short” (oops, I just did). But it’s true, isn’t it? 

When you had kids, you went from person to parent. You assumed the responsibility, if not because you had to, then because you wanted to. And almost by accident, the parenting role might have become your entire identity. If you’re not careful, it can consume you, leaving little room for the person you were before or the person you’ve become since. 

It’s super easy to lose yourself in the daily grind of diapers, tantrums, and running your kids to this activity and that one. But without the family to-do lists, who are you? 

We have great news—it’s never too late to prioritize yourself. And with some mindset and priority shifts, you can learn about who you are outside of the “mom” or “dad” title. 

Find ways to fill your cup. What activities (that don’t involve tiny humans) help you recharge? We know what you’re thinking: “Who has the time?” But remember, self-care isn’t selfish. Even the busiest people find ways to treat themselves. Listen to a podcast that’s not about parenting. Find literally any time to sneak away for a few minutes to yourself. Do more of what makes you feel refreshed and rejuvenated. Self-care is not selfish. It’s necessary. And it helps you be a better parent. 

Connect with other people. Friendships can be complicated as an adult. Identify the important people in your life, parents and non-parents, and reach out, even if it’s a simple text or sharing a relatable Instagram reel.

Throughout my almost eight years as a mom, I’ve gone in and out of friendships depending on my season of life. The best ones are the people who just get it—no hard feelings if we text back a week later or if I forget their birthday. Yep, I did this a few times! 

Set some personal goals. Aside from raising beautiful humans who are kind, curious, and compassionate, what are your goals? What would you do if there were no school lunches to pack? Start small and build from there. It could be anything from learning a new skill to volunteering for a cause you care about. 

Finally, remind yourself who you are. It takes years to build an identity, and it can be easy to lose sight of yourself amidst the chaos. Reflect on your values, interests, and passions, and think about how those have changed over the years. Once you figure out who you are, making choices that align with your true identity becomes a whole lot easier. Plus, your kids will have a happy and healthy parent—and that’s kinda the goal, isn’t it?  

How are you staying true to yourself as a parent and person?

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