Mamas, you’re not losing it. You’re not missing appointments or forgetting to text back simply because you have small humans to take care of who consume all your time and energy. The reason you have “mom brain,” that mental state where you feel perpetually absent-minded since having your kid(s), is because of science.

A new study published in a medical journal called Nature Neuroscience found that there are actual biological changes in a woman’s brain from preconception through pregnancy and up to two years (!!!) postpartum.

We won’t get too sciencey here in this lighthearted parenting newsletter of ours, but to put it simply, scientists took MRI images of womens’ brains before, during, and after pregnancy. What they found was that the brain shrinks in size while pregnant. Additionally, some pathways in the brain strengthen themselves during the first two trimesters of pregnancy, leading researchers to believe that this is the brain’s way of preparing itself for impending motherhood. This research is not only a relief for postpartum women (knowing they’re not alone and also not to blame for their newfound forgetfulness), but also could be the first of many developments in figuring out how best to support new moms’ mental health and mood disorders. We’ll take it! 

In the meantime, ladies, cut yourself some slack and try to go easy on yourself. Easier said than done, sure, but why not make 2025 the year of…you? These tips may just help:

Reframe your mindset to “self-care” instead of “selfish.” Moms are always doing for everyone else in the family, and our needs tend to get neglected. But if you reposition taking care of yourself as “selfish” and see it instead as “self-care,” you may feel a little less guilty about that mani/pedi, that solo lunch date, or that workout class you left the baby home with grandma for. 

Stop trying to do it all. As America Ferrera eloquently said in her famous Barbie monologue, “it’s literally impossible to be a woman,” but truth is it’s impossible to be a mom too sometimes. Being a mother also means being a chef, a nurse, a maid, a party planner…. It’s what experts refer to as the “efficiency trap” — the more you do, the more that’s expected of you. The key to not falling into this trap (or getting out of it once you’re in it already) is letting go of perfectionism, going with the flow, not micromanaging everything in your household, and the most important one of all, delegating and asking for help. This won’t happen overnight, but you can do it (eventually)!

Maintain a healthy lifestyle. When you’re busy and sleep-deprived, taking care of your body doesn’t seem to be a priority. But the truth is, sleeping enough, eating a nutritious diet, and moving your body are all simple ways to combat those sluggish feelings that come along with new motherhood. Personally, I’m taking baby steps in getting back to myself after baby by going to the gym once a week and cutting back on mindless snacking (but I'm still working on the getting-to-bed-earlier part). Start by implementing small but meaningful changes that work for you.

Make an effort to socialize. Studies have shown that women are naturally more social than men, and in fact, hanging out with female friends can increase oxytocin in our brains, which promotes feelings of happiness. As your personal and professional schedules allow, try to meet other like-minded mom friends by joining online mom groups in your area or by attending organized events such as story time at the library. I also make it a priority to get regular dinners or girls’ nights on my calendar with my existing gal pals. 

Spend intentional time with your kid(s). As parents, it’s easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of school drop-off, after-school playdates, and cooking meals that won’t get eaten, but remember, you had kids for a reason. Set aside 1:1 time with your child(ren) every week to do an activity you’ll both enjoy, even if it’s just ten or fifteen minutes of your undivided attention. It’s an easy way for you to reconnect with your mini me without your phone and enjoy a few moments of calm together. This will strengthen your mother/child relationship in the long run, and ultimately improve your mental well-being and theirs.

PS: Click here to learn more about the science of the “mom brain” study.

How do you or did you take care of yourself in those early postpartum days despite the mom brain?

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