Talking about emotions can be uncomfortable for everyone, but it’s something we all need to do more of, especially with our kids. Open and honest conversations help them build their confidence, develop healthy coping skills, and bounce back from life’s inevitable challenges.

September is National Suicide Prevention Month, and caring for our mental health is just as important as our physical health—it’s never too early to start talking about it. Here are five easy ways to talk about mental health with your little ones:

Name and validate feelings. Dealing with emotions is new territory for kids, so they might not know exactly how to say what’s going on. Help them find the right words by asking questions like, “Are you feeling frustrated?” Remember, there’s no such thing as a bad feeling; everyone handles them differently, and some of us need a little extra help. 

Avoid judging your kids for their feelings or making them feel bad for having them, even the really big ones. Sometimes, we can’t help how we feel, but we can choose how we react. It’s totally okay to feel sad, angry, frustrated, or scared sometimes. In our house, we talk about emotions so much that my son probably thinks it’s a bit over the top. But hey, I want him to know it’s okay to have all the feels!

Work through conflict together. Disagreements are part of life, whether with you, a classmate, or a sibling. Instead of shutting them down, use conflicts as a chance to teach your kids how to work through issues with other people, including respecting the other person’s experience and working together to find a solution. 

Avoid “bright siding” them. When your child comes home from school crying about something that happened, it’s tempting to say, “Oh, you’re fine!” or “Well, at least they didn’t…” But what they really need is for you to acknowledge that their feelings are valid. Try saying, “I bet that was really hard.” or “I can see you’re upset. I’m here to listen if you want to talk.” Sometimes, a big hug is all they need. 

Encourage them to ask questions. The more comfortable your kids feel coming to you with questions, the easier it will be for them to open up when they really need someone to talk to. Try asking open-ended questions like, “Is there anything you want to talk about tonight?” or “How did you feel after your classmate said mean things to you?”

Don’t make it weird. Talking about feelings already feels uncomfortable, so no need to overdo it and make it more awkward. Try making it a normal part of your everyday conversations. Remember, the more often you talk about feelings, the more normal they’ll seem.

Bonus Tip: Read books about feelings and model healthy reactions to stressful situations in your own life. Remember, kids are learning to be humans, and they won’t always be perfect. There’s no such thing. 

Here are some resources for mental health and suicide:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Children’s Mental Health - Medline Plus
SAMHSA - How to Talk About Mental Health For Parents and Caregivers of Children
Suicide Prevention Resource Center - Adolescents

Do you have regular conversations about emotions at home?

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