You know that TikTok trend “we listen and we don’t judge?” This is not that. Turns out parents listen to other parents’ screen time rules for their children…and judge them pretty hard.

A new survey from ValuePenguin, a site which collects data to help its audience make informed buying decisions, reveals interesting insight into parents’ screen time habits and rules for their kids, as well as how often they think about other families’ habits and rules.

40 percent of parents with kids under 18 admit to judging other parents screen time rules, while 45 percent feel judged themselves, according to ValuePenguin. 30 percent even prohibit their kids from hanging out with peers whose screen time practices don’t align with their own. This does not bode well for the “mom guilt” culture that’s so prevalent these days, one in which moms feel guilty for decisions they make for their family or feel as though they’re inadequate. Can’t we all just live?!

Other interesting tidbits from the survey worth noting:

• 85 percent of parents limit and monitor their kid’s screen time to some extent, and 39 percent wish to have even more control over what and how often their kids are on their devices

• 23 percent of parents admit to lying to other parents about how much screen time they allow their kids (interestingly, men were in the majority here), which a ValuePenguin expert says it to “avoid the guilt they feel for potentially harming their child’s health and development.”

• 37 percent admit screen time has caused disagreements at home and/or with their co-parent

• Nonetheless, 92 percent of parents see benefits in screen time, mostly for the purposes of:

• education

• entertainment

• giving mom and dad a break/keeping their kids quiet

Starglow is an audio-first parenting brand (editor’s note: check out our awesome kids’ podcasts!!!), but we certainly support screen time in moderation. Sure, studies have shown correlations between screen time and sleep disturbances, mental health issues and obesity in kids. And yes, tweens and teens especially are using their phones and tablets “almost constantly,” according to new research. But with the proper parental controls and family rules in place, there’s no harm in screen time to supplement classroom learning, entertain and, yes, sometimes babysit (remember, “we listen and we don’t judge”).

The truth is parenting is stressful enough, so much so that the U.S. Surgeon General released a statement last summer calling parents’ stress levels an “urgent” health matter. We have bigger fish to fry, so to speak, than what other people’s kids do behind closed doors or feeling judged for our own decisions, but unfortunately, this is the reality modern parents are in. Still, try not to second-guess your parenting decisions, because odds are your kids will turn out fine. If nobody has told you lately, I’ll do it: you’re doing great.

For a deeper dive into the study, as well as expert tips on how to navigate screen time and mental health, check out the full report at ValuePenguin.

Be honest — do you judge other families’ screen time usage?

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